"So let's get to the bottom of this!"

An often-heard phrase when we want to know what "this" is really about.
This is just about the best phrase we can use when we want to know why our emotions are keeping us from feeling worthy. Worthy of enough attention. Worthy of enough money. Worthy of enough love.

Some long time ago (approx. 325 A.D.), the unconditional love of our mother in heaven was overthrown by the rules and commands of a conquering father. The unconditional love of our Goddess was replaced by the conditional love of a God, which would take revenge when not obeyed! This conquering God is jealous (1), wrathful (2) and is portrayed as a LORD, which decrees many rules to obey. It is not only the legacy of Christians that we are growing up with all these many, literally interpreted rules. Most people that adhere to (a) wrathful God(s) are plagued by the external rules, constantly chattering away to them in their head about what might be right and what might be wrong. It brings a life full of fear and guilt, not being able to live up to the rules of such (a) demanding God(s).

But how can this God be our God? How can our Christian God be the same God that "so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son" (3)? This human form, that manifests the will of God, being his son, tells us about "repentance and forgiveness" (4). How can this be combined with a jealous and wrathful God, when Paul is inspired to write: "If I [.....] have not love, I am nothing." (5).

Every time when we are confronted with difficult choices, we need to make unique decisions, based on our upbringing, culture, our teachings (both from teachers and personal experiences) and the possible consequences we can oversee. It is however often impossible to oversee all consequences. There are just to many deviations and multiple implications to every choice. And then we may feel guilty for each "wrong" choice we make. Every time again and again, we find ourselves at the wrong end of certain choices we make. We feel they are wrong, because we have hurt someone, or even many. Or we feel they are wrong because it does not comply with one of the many, many laws and rules we were taught by the people we learned to trust during our childhood.

Or even worse, we learned very early not to trust anyone, because we grew up in an environment of distrust and hate. Hate starts to take over when we decide "you can only trust your self and no one else!” Anger has hardened our harness so much, that we became impenetrable to any emotion. We silence our heart with the icy pride we take in being untouchable, while in the soft core of our being we feel the longing to be recognised. To be worthy of true attention. To be worthy of true Love.

Do you recognise the panic and the fear when you feel that nobody sees your value? The panic and fear when you feel things, which you have been told all your life you should not allow your self to feel? The panic and fear when your life suddenly changes for the worse? Whenever that happens, we often block our self with the limited views we have, based on the assumptions we have ingrained in our mind, based on what all of our teachers (parents, priests, etc.) have told us to be true. Fear gives us a short breath and our heart shrinks. We really feel like we are shrinking to a smaller size!

It is the fear of the wrath of God, the wrath of our parents, the wrath of our environment, which kills us slowly, instance by instance, if we do not change our attitude towards our self and toward life! As soon as we start to forgive our selves for whatever mistakes and failures we have made, we live the life that Christ endorses us to live. The remorse for past moments is often clearly there! It is the forgiveness that helps us to accept our humanity. And in doing so, we accept the humanity of each other person that fails to comply with the many rules and commands that we judge them by. Rules and commands that are based on "a limited collection of internal imagery".

Easy said, but now what to do? The first advise is: "let's get to the bottom of this!" Let's go to the bottom of our fear. It is what the Tantrics are saying for thousands of years already. It is a truth that has been rediscovered by many during our times. Only one example of many is Brandon Bays, who was diagnosed with a football-sized tumour (1992) and found herself catapulted into a remarkable, soul-searching and ultimately freeing healing journey. Only six and a half weeks later, she was pronounced textbook perfect - no drugs, no surgery, no tumour.

It is when we dare to face what is at the bottom of our pit, and look at whatever shows it self, with forgiveness and Love, that we are true followers of the example of Christ. Whatever imagery is colouring our assumptions and prejudice, when we judge others and our selves with Love and forgiveness, we truly follow a wonderful example as in the story, where Jesus is anointed by a "sinful woman" (6).

It is when we dare to go to the bottom of things, that we discover the real identity of any phenomena. And it is when we go to the bottom of our feelings, that we (re)discover the phenomenal potential of our own humanity. The core of our rescue is Love and forgiveness. When we go to the bottom of our fears and emotions, finally we always find just that: Love and forgiveness, freeing us from all our guilt, resentment, fear and anxiety. Giving us space to breath in and out deeply. Giving us space to create what we are all about in this life. Being a beautiful manifestation of Love, created in the image of God (7).

May Love be with us!
Arnold.

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Footnotes

(1) Exodus 20:5 (NIV); You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

(2) Deuteronomy 29:20 (NIV); The LORD will never be willing to forgive him; his wrath and zeal will burn against that man. All the curses written in this book will fall upon him, and the LORD will blot out his name from under heaven.

(2) Revelation 16 (NIV); VISION [Of John on the island of Patmos]: The seven angels with the seven vials of the wrath of God

(3) John 3:16-17 (NIV); 16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[b] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

(4) Luke 24:47 (NIV); and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in [the name of Christ] to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

(5) 1 Corinthians 13:2-3 (NIV); If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

(6) Luke 7:36-50 (NIV); Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[d] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."


(7) Genesis 1:27 (NIV); So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

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(NIV): New International Version © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society